The beginning of Thelma's adventures
About midnight last night I hear one long howl and then all the dogs go real quiet, and so being how that isn't common to their nature, why I rise up out of my bed and reach
Above the cuckoo clock where Milton keeps the .22, just to be careful and real sure, and then I poke my head outside where it were a full moon so I could see straight
Across the hard dirt of the frontyard and into the paddock where I note how even
After all my reminders, he gone and left the gate open again, and does he want the horses wanderin away? So I lean the .22
Against mother's crepe myrtle and I hie on over to shut the damn gate when what do I behold all hunched over low and scuttling
Along side of the barn but some kind of man with hair all over hisself and big teeth gleaming white in the darkness, and I seen he was aiming to settle in
Among the cattle and maybe steal him a good, juicy steak, but no thank you brother that don't sound ok to me, so I reach over quicklike and grab a big rock and chuck it directly at his head where it goes CRACK and sends him asprawling, gaping and looking
Around for who conked him a good one, and I wave my arms so he sees me in the paddock and I yell "Go on! Git! You take yourself home now, we don't stand for no cattle thieves here! My husband is on the porch with the .22 so you best turn tail!" which is a lie, I don't know where Milton is, but to my surprise this hairy man don't run, he just curls dark lips to bare his teeth like a snarl, and he raises up on his legs and scratches his chest with sharp nails, and then his long whiskered face lifts and sniffs like he can smell me on the air
At which point he jerks back like he remembered something, and all his tense muscles go lax and he lopes on off into the cornfield east of here where I hear another long howl and I think to myself "Good lord that was strange, won't I have a story to tell Milton when he gets home," as I trudge back to the house in the light of the big full moon.
Above the cuckoo clock where Milton keeps the .22, just to be careful and real sure, and then I poke my head outside where it were a full moon so I could see straight
Across the hard dirt of the frontyard and into the paddock where I note how even
After all my reminders, he gone and left the gate open again, and does he want the horses wanderin away? So I lean the .22
Against mother's crepe myrtle and I hie on over to shut the damn gate when what do I behold all hunched over low and scuttling
Along side of the barn but some kind of man with hair all over hisself and big teeth gleaming white in the darkness, and I seen he was aiming to settle in
Among the cattle and maybe steal him a good, juicy steak, but no thank you brother that don't sound ok to me, so I reach over quicklike and grab a big rock and chuck it directly at his head where it goes CRACK and sends him asprawling, gaping and looking
Around for who conked him a good one, and I wave my arms so he sees me in the paddock and I yell "Go on! Git! You take yourself home now, we don't stand for no cattle thieves here! My husband is on the porch with the .22 so you best turn tail!" which is a lie, I don't know where Milton is, but to my surprise this hairy man don't run, he just curls dark lips to bare his teeth like a snarl, and he raises up on his legs and scratches his chest with sharp nails, and then his long whiskered face lifts and sniffs like he can smell me on the air
At which point he jerks back like he remembered something, and all his tense muscles go lax and he lopes on off into the cornfield east of here where I hear another long howl and I think to myself "Good lord that was strange, won't I have a story to tell Milton when he gets home," as I trudge back to the house in the light of the big full moon.
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